Junior high and high school are no doubt a difficult time of life. There, I've done it. I've stated the obvious. If you're reading this, you probably know it all too well, either because you've been there, or because that is where you're camped out now. It's unavoidable to be sure. For some it's junior high that's really tough. That's where I was probably, from my own point of view, the most awkward and out of place. The merger of several small elementary schools threw me for a loop, and when I found my old friends blending in with the new faces it was hard. I was shy in my own way, so making new friends wasn't always easy for me. By the time high school came around this wasn't so much of an issue. I had some close friends and that was enough to help me interact with the rest of the world. Unfortunately not all of those interactions were positive, but that's life right? I wish I could say so, but the ones that haunt me were all my fault and I could have prevented them.
It started in English Class when I was in ninth grade. The teacher was a strict, no nonsense lady that we had all been warned about. She was to be feared, but for me not disliked. I respected her. I believe the topic was mythology, though I can't remember what the peacock feather had to do with it. There was a new girl in class that year, and she spoke up to share information about a peacock feather she had at home. I had this girl labeled as the teacher's pet wanna be, who would kiss up at every opportunity. I didn't know her, but for some reason I decided I didn't like her. I can't remember if I was following a trend or trying to set one, but I started making fun of her. I taunted and teased. Whether it was deliberately open, or more concealed just between my friends and I, is lost to my memory. I just know that I nicknamed her Jenny Peacock Feather Woman, and I was mean.
I am certainly not telling you this to brag, though at the time I am sure I thought I was quite smart and very high above this new student. I never did get to know her because I was too stuck up. This may be shocking to some of you, and my hope is that you will see my folly and act better. I am ashamed, and it's not just because the nickname was so stupid, I think I did that on purpose because it made me laugh, it's because I was a child of God acting so contrary to the kindness of my Savior. I should have been the nicest person in that class. I should have been the one reaching out trying to be her friend, but I was being a brat. I had an attitude of scorn toward this person. I think the students who didn't even believe in God were more compassionate than me, a sinner saved by grace.
So, why am I mentioning this almost 25 years later? I want to encourage teens to be kind to their peers. It might be a challenge now, but don't live with the regret I have. God has forgiven me, so it's not a burden of guilt so much as the sadness of knowing that I could have made a positive difference, but I made a negative impact. Being kind and compassionate is worth the effort, and even worth the ridicule you may receive from others. I was being a bully, and I am sorry. I wish I could tell her that now, but since I am not likely to have that opportunity, I will try to influence others to behave better. I would also like to apologize to anyone else reading this who witnessed my cruel behavior or was ever the object of it. I see my own kids struggle because they are treated this way, even sometimes by people they consider friends, and I fluctuate between feeling brokenhearted and infuriated, but who am I to judge since I have acted the same way.
I also want to speak to the person who is being looked down on, teased or tormented. In God's eyes you're a diamond. He loves you no matter what people say. He loves you so much that He sent His Son to die for you so that your sin could be forgiven. Maybe it's easier to see the sin of the people who are hurting you, but the truth is we all sin. (Romans 3:23) In fact sometimes we turn around and hurt someone else by treating them the same way we have been treated. We all need a Savior, and Jesus is so full of love and compassion that He died even for the mocker, the thief and the murderer. Romans 5:8 says, "but God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Jesus died for us the way we were when we mocked and made fun of Him, and didn't believe in Him. Let's try to treat others the way we have been treated by Jesus: with love, compassion and kindness.
If you are just realizing that you need the Savior, just call out to Him, He'll be there with arms open wide. Don't keep it to yourself either. Be sure to tell someone who can help you get off to a good start in your new life as a Christian. "Yet to all who received Him, to those who believed on His name, He gave the right to become children of God." (John 1:12)
I wish that I had been more kind and compassionate when I was in school. Somehow looking back it just seems like that would have made a lot more sense. I can't change what is past, and don't want to spend too much time looking in the rear view mirror. The future is bright ahead. God has been working in my life in amazing ways since that time. I have four kids, and my prayer is that they would be close to the Lord and live better that I ever did. I don't mean that I want them to have all the things that I never had in the material sense, but rather that I want them to live victoriously in the spiritual sense. I am on a journey, and I'm a stranger in a foreign land. I was born here, but I have become a citizen of heaven, and the farther along I get in my journey home, the more apparent it is that I am an alien here. I hope that I would not make the same mistake today that I made back then.
I am certainly not telling you this to brag, though at the time I am sure I thought I was quite smart and very high above this new student. I never did get to know her because I was too stuck up. This may be shocking to some of you, and my hope is that you will see my folly and act better. I am ashamed, and it's not just because the nickname was so stupid, I think I did that on purpose because it made me laugh, it's because I was a child of God acting so contrary to the kindness of my Savior. I should have been the nicest person in that class. I should have been the one reaching out trying to be her friend, but I was being a brat. I had an attitude of scorn toward this person. I think the students who didn't even believe in God were more compassionate than me, a sinner saved by grace.
So, why am I mentioning this almost 25 years later? I want to encourage teens to be kind to their peers. It might be a challenge now, but don't live with the regret I have. God has forgiven me, so it's not a burden of guilt so much as the sadness of knowing that I could have made a positive difference, but I made a negative impact. Being kind and compassionate is worth the effort, and even worth the ridicule you may receive from others. I was being a bully, and I am sorry. I wish I could tell her that now, but since I am not likely to have that opportunity, I will try to influence others to behave better. I would also like to apologize to anyone else reading this who witnessed my cruel behavior or was ever the object of it. I see my own kids struggle because they are treated this way, even sometimes by people they consider friends, and I fluctuate between feeling brokenhearted and infuriated, but who am I to judge since I have acted the same way.
I also want to speak to the person who is being looked down on, teased or tormented. In God's eyes you're a diamond. He loves you no matter what people say. He loves you so much that He sent His Son to die for you so that your sin could be forgiven. Maybe it's easier to see the sin of the people who are hurting you, but the truth is we all sin. (Romans 3:23) In fact sometimes we turn around and hurt someone else by treating them the same way we have been treated. We all need a Savior, and Jesus is so full of love and compassion that He died even for the mocker, the thief and the murderer. Romans 5:8 says, "but God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Jesus died for us the way we were when we mocked and made fun of Him, and didn't believe in Him. Let's try to treat others the way we have been treated by Jesus: with love, compassion and kindness.
If you are just realizing that you need the Savior, just call out to Him, He'll be there with arms open wide. Don't keep it to yourself either. Be sure to tell someone who can help you get off to a good start in your new life as a Christian. "Yet to all who received Him, to those who believed on His name, He gave the right to become children of God." (John 1:12)
I wish that I had been more kind and compassionate when I was in school. Somehow looking back it just seems like that would have made a lot more sense. I can't change what is past, and don't want to spend too much time looking in the rear view mirror. The future is bright ahead. God has been working in my life in amazing ways since that time. I have four kids, and my prayer is that they would be close to the Lord and live better that I ever did. I don't mean that I want them to have all the things that I never had in the material sense, but rather that I want them to live victoriously in the spiritual sense. I am on a journey, and I'm a stranger in a foreign land. I was born here, but I have become a citizen of heaven, and the farther along I get in my journey home, the more apparent it is that I am an alien here. I hope that I would not make the same mistake today that I made back then.
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