Hands Lifted High

In November of last year I quit running.  I would do a little on the treadmill or elliptical here or there, but I really gave up.  In April of this year I came back, and it was hard.  I felt awful and wanted to quit, but I was inspired to literally lift my hands in praise to God and keep going.  Whenever I felt like quitting over those first few weeks, I would lift my hands in praise.  Soon it wasn't as hard and I began lifting my hands in Praise when I felt good.  People driving down the road probably wonder what I am doing, but I am trying to form a habit of praise regardless of how I feel or who is watching. 

I have to admit that I am having a harder time applying this principle to real life.  Sometimes I just get caught up in how bad I feel.  Sunday was the worst day I have had in a long time, and Monday was a close second.  As I sobbed over something I had done that filled me with regret, at one point I did force my hands in the air.  See, I can't always change the way I feel, but raising my hands is something I can physically do, despite how I feel.  It signifies that I am recognizing God's goodness.  

This is something I should practice more, acknowledging that God is greater than my feelings whether  they are good or bad, physical or emotional.  I want to be honest and sincere, so I don't want to pretend that I feel differently than I do, but giving glory to God can be an act of the will even when  my emotions aren't on the same page.  I often wish that I didn't struggle with these negative feeling, and that I could just always be bubbling over with happiness, but that's just not the way things are.  I know that joy is a fruit of the Spirit, so I become concerned when I don't feel joyful, but I should bear  joy in my actions just as I should act lovingly even when I don't feel like it: not as a performance, but as an act of the will.  

I know that my melancholy moods bring the people around me down too.  I surely don't want to be a thundercloud, I would much rather be a ray of sunshine.  Lately things have been rather gloomy, but I really need to let go of those clouds and let the light shine.  I really surprised myself today when someone asked me how I was, and I replied that I was "good" in a fairly convincing way.  I try to avoid doing that if I don't really mean it.  I heard the words come out of my mouth and thought, "What did I just say?  Is that the truth?"  I think there must be some truth to it.  I am definitely much better than I was two days ago even though I feel tired and still lack motivation in places where I am usually most motivated.

I guess it is time to lift my hands to heaven and praise God because He doesn't change like my feelings and moods do; He is always good, and He loves me even though I am a mess...  for now.

"...being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."  Philippians 1:9