Stair Steps In The Dark

Have you ever stood at the top of a stair case in the dark and wondered how you were going to get to the bottom without falling?  I have a staircase in my house that has three entry points.  From the top it comes straight down from a hallway on one side, and down from a landing in front of two bedrooms on the other side.  The two descending sets of stairs meet at a landing before descending the final stretch to the bottom.  The catch is that only two of theses points have a light switch.  At night, a descent from my bedroom on the hallway side is often navigated in the dark.  Ironically, I want to see the stairs so I can gracefully walk down them, but I can't turn the light on until I reach the bottom, then I can flip the switch and see each step clearly after I've come down them.

As I prepare to find my way down the stairs in the dark it is quite difficult to determine where the edge of the first vertical drop is.  I approach it slowly.  There is no guide rail on that top section.  I can put my hand on the wall for balance, but there is no indication where the decline begins.  I slide my foot forward and begin to tap with my toes feeling for the place where there is no more floor.  I inch a little farther and try again.  Eventually I will feel that the step is in front of me and I will ease my way down it, because I can't see how far the drop is.  When I get to the landing my hands become more useful because there is a half wall which acts as a railing, and sometimes there is a light on in the living room which dimly lights the way.  That first step at the top is the most difficult though; it is the hardest to find.  

I was explaining to a friend yesterday how I feel like I am standing at the top of a dark staircase in my life.  There is somewhere I want to go, but I am unsure of where the first step is.  I'm sliding my foot out and tapping.  I'm pondering my options, and I am praying for God to show me where it is and help me to step correctly.  Maybe I have actually been looking for the third or the fourth step in this process, while the first is closer and more gentle that I expected.  You see I have a project I want to do.  The Lord, my Father God, through the Holy Spirit has put several messages in my heart, messages that are consistent with His Word, and has enabled me to construct songs out of them.  While it is possible that these songs are just for me, I have a conviction that they were meant to be shared, not hidden.  I would like to do a recording project to allow these songs an avenue to circulate and impact lives in a positive way, bringing glory to The God who initiated them in my heart.  The problem is I have no idea where to actually start that process, but still I am taking a step now by asking you to begin, if  you know The Lord and if you will, to pray with me about what comes next.

There are a few places I am getting hung up.  The first dilemma is where to do the recording.  Should I search out a professional studio, should I ask my son, Cody, to do it at home with our private equipment, or is there another option I am overlooking?  The next question is should I do a very simple recording with my limited guitar skills and my voice only, or should I invite other musician friends to participate in a band format?  I know the music because it's a part of me, but everyone else would have to invest in learning it.  I have a certain simple style. With other musicians involved that would be developed into something more complex.  At the very least I would like for my son, Austin, to play piano on a couple of *public domain songs, which will add something familiar to the selection of new material.  In fact it would be nice to have each member of the family participate in some way.  The third issue is, of course, money.  Where is the funding for this project going to come from?  We shouldn't need anything we don't already have if we do it ourselves and keep it simple, but should I get help from people with experience?  In other words, should I trust God to supply the means, or trust that He already has?  I don't want to let pride stand in the way of doing God's will, because He will use the weak to show Himself strong.  He can work through my limitations to show how good and powerful He is.  I need to leave all this in God's hands, believing that He has a plan.  I have to have faith that He will show me the first step.  Just because I cannot see it doesn't mean it isn't there, but just because it is there doesn't mean I have come to it yet.  So, I keep tapping my toe in the dark waiting to feel the edge of the step in front of me.  I pray that when God shows me where it is I will have the courage and energy to move forward without fear or hesitation.   In the mean time I will keep practicing the music and asking Him for guidance.

*not subject to copyright.

This House

1997

This morning I was walking down from the barn to the house, when for some reason I started to think about our very first visitor here.  Uncle Rod was the first person who came to see us at our new place sixteen years ago.  I think he was really excited for us until he got here.  His first visit turned into an inspection, as he walked from widow to window with a candle, to show us how drafty and in efficient our house was.  I know he was just concerned for us.  It was October and we had a seven month old son to think about.  I remember being overwhelmed and hurt by all of the issues he pointed out that day.  Soon my sister came to visit, and though she held back her opinions that day, I found out several years later that she had also been rather shocked and disappointed by our choice. She only mentioned this after many projects had improved the conditions and she could express appreciation for that.  We bought our house knowing that there were things we needed to change, but we saw the potential more than the problems, and we made the investment intending to do the work.

2014

How much more does Christ look at me and see my potential more than my problems?  He could have looked at me and said, "What a mess!  I am going to invest in someone who has it more together,"  But He invested in me!  I'm not saying He chose me instead of someone else, just that He didn't turn away from me because of my pathetic condition. He put His Holy Spirit in me as a down payment, guaranteeing that He would do all the necessary work to turn me into a presentable dwelling.  Ephesians 1:13-14 says, "In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory."    He's working in me, but He's also using me as I am in the meantime, just as we moved into our house and began replacing windows and insulating rooms one at a time.  The fact that our house needed work didn't make it any less ours.  We had bought it and we were going to live in it.

  

Our house still isn't finished, and it never really will be.  There will always be things that need to be repaired or updated here.  In the meantime we stay here, and we work with what we've got.  Friends come over and we enjoy time together even if the staircase still doesn't have carpet or baseboards.  We have a warm place to sleep even though some of the rooms need new paint.  We enjoy meals together here regardless of the kitchen cabinets being old and stained.  Like I said, there will always be things that we want to change here in our house.  Though the housework goes on, the good news is that someday the work on my heart will be complete.  I know I use this verse a lot, but it's one of my favorites, "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."  (Philippians 1:6)  Completion!  What a thought!

What about you?  Has God begun construction in your heart and life?  Have you ever thought you were too much of a mess for Him to consider?  You're not!  In fact, Jesus says in Luke 5:32 "I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance.”  There's not a mess too big for Him to fix, but He gives each individual the choice to stay as they are or allow the work to begin.  We can't do the work on our own, God has to do it, but He waits for us to invite Him in.  "For 'everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.'" (Romans 10:13)  Did I forget to mention that there is an excessive cost to this project?  Romans 6:23 says, "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."   The price is high, but God paid it through the death of His Son so that He could offer this to us as a gift.  Death had no power over God's perfect Son in whom there was no sin, and He rose to life on the third day.  We can call on Him!  He is alive!  He's ready to get to work in each of us as soon as we will open the door of our heart so He can make it His home. 

Why I Believe In God

This week our pastor began a series giving his reasons for believing.  The first sermon was called "Why I Believe In God."  There are other topics coming up like "Why I Believe the Bible," "Why I Believe In Jesus,"  and the list goes on.  One of the observations he made was that there are three aspects to belief:  experiential, biblical and logical.  He explained that his belief occurred in that order.  He believed the message and had the experience of the Holy Spirit working in his life, then he began studying the scriptures, and finally he began to see why it was logical.  He also told us that this happens in varying order for different people.  He knows someone who first found belief in God to be logical, then they studied the scriptures and finally experienced the work of God in their life.  I had to ask myself the question, "how did this come about for me?"

I was raised in the church.  That's kind of a funny expression.  When I said that to one of my young children several years ago, they thought it meant I lived in a church building.  Being raised in the church really means being brought up in an environment with followers of Christ.  The church is made up of people, not bricks and wood and mortar.  I went to Sunday School, and I was taught stories from the Bible.  I was four years old when I put my faith in Christ, and He began to work in my life.  He was there for me through many difficulties and trials as a child, and I know I couldn't have made it through them without Him.  I am not sure whether to say that my first step was biblical or experiential, but the experience was probably the stronger of the two at the beginning. 

When I was a teen I went to a camp where I made a commitment to read the Bible everyday whether I understood it completely or not.  I still practice this though, I admit, there are days when I neglect it.  The truth is there are still times when I read and it goes over my head.  When things are familiar it is easy to read them without really thinking, but sometimes my eyes are opened to truths that I have been missing.  Listening to the messages of those who are more mature has been an important part of my understanding.  The greatest discovery, probably in my early twenties, was that of grace.  The concept of undeserved favor with God was something that I had never really grasped.  I always felt unworthy, and rightly so, I was, but to discover that God wasn't angry with me because of my failures was amazing.  To understand that not only was salvation through faith in Christ free, but so was the love and acceptance of God the Father.  This is about the time the biblical aspect really began to strengthen my faith and the "stories" began to come together.  

As far as logic goes, I don't have any fancy argument or scientific explanations to give, but there is evidence all around me. When I go for a walk in the spring and the earth is turning green and the flowers start to bloom, I know that God has it all in His hand.  When I stand on a mountain and look out across a valley to ridge upon ridge of magnificence, I know that God created it.

When I hear people argue that it all began as a random occurrence of chance, it breaks my heart.  I gave birth to four babies.  They are all miracles that could have only been designed by the awesome God.  If someone were to look at my children and deny they had a mother because they had never seen me, that would be ridiculous, yet there is an infinite God who gave new birth to my spirit, and people will say that He doesn't exist.  I'm not sure why my personal belief in my Creator and Savior would be offensive to anyone unless they serve another god, but my motive for wanting them to know Him is that I don't want them to be lost to eternal separation from the creator of all things good.  Here on earth everyone has the chance to catch glimpses of Him in creation, after life on earth they will either be in His presence where all is perfection, or His presence will be taken from them completely which is hell.

More  important  than  my  desire for  men  and women, boys and  girls to be saved,  is God's desire.   2 Peter 3:9 says, "The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance." He wants people to know Him and trust in the work of His Son on the cross.  He has given me a gift, along with all of His children, and He has instructed us to share it with the world. Jesus said in Matthew 28:19-20,  "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,  teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”     The things that Jesus commanded us are to love God and to love one another.  (Matthew 22:36-40)  Anything we perceive as a rule we have to follow is really just an instruction to help us love.  God tells us what His character is like and then instructs us to be like Him.  (Leviticus 19:2) (1 Peter 1:15-16)  

Everyone is different, but we were all created by the same God.  Some believe in their Creator and others do not. I see the fingerprints of God all around me.  I hear His echo in the voices of His children.  I have seen Him change lives.  I have heard Him speak directly to my own heart when I have needed direction or comfort.  I don't just believe, but I have a relationship with Him. He is my Father.  He is my Savior.  He is My Creator.  He is my Friend.  He is my God!