Yesterday we enjoyed our church's annual fall picnic. This is an event that we look forward to all year. The highlight this year was the rock climbing wall that was brought in for the day. I knew I wanted to take a turn, so I got in line and watched as young and, well, not as young, male and female climbed the wall then repelled back down. As I watched I thought it looked like lots of fun coming down. My turn finally came and I was strapped into the harness. A helmet was placed on my head and up I started to go. It wasn't quite as easy as some people before me had made it look, but I took my time and made it to the top. I rang the bell and was ready to descend, but as I began to follow the directions and let go of the wall I felt like I was falling and held on all the more. The owner of the wall tried again to convince me, but fear had taken over reason. I began to climb back down the wall and he told me I was just going to make it harder for myself. It didn't matter, I was not letting go of the wall. When I had come down a little way he asked me to try it from there, but I was still too high. Finally I came down far enough for him to reach my feet. He said, "now let go." Even at that height I did not want to let go of that wall. I am still not sure if I finally gave in or if I was pulled off but, when I started to fall, wouldn't you know, that cable caught me and let me down gently. AMAZING!!!
Now logically I must have believed that the cables would protect me or I doubt I would have ascended the wall in the first place, but when the moment of truth came I didn't have enough faith in them to let go and let them do their job. It was like a knife in the heart as someone from my church family yelled, "just trust," and I had to admit that I didn't by climbing down. How many times do I do this in my "climb" with the Lord? He tells me, "just let go," but I want to hold on and try to do it myself. He says, "just trust me," and I hold on to the world. I humbly admit that I do this, and I pray the next time I need to let go He will bring this lesson to my mind along with the life circumstances, beyond my control, that He worked out that same day.
That's not the end of the story though. After a rest I went up the wall again, this time at a more difficult spot. I practiced my descent once from a low spot this time. When I was very near the top I became quite tired and almost quit where I was. I figured the real victory this time would be in trusting the cable to hold me on my way down. At the very moment I was about to let go I heard someone yell my name with a word of encouragement. Considering my lifelong struggle with feelings of discouragement and rejection this was clearly a provision from the Lord, and just what it took to spur me on to the top. Soon I heard, "ring the bell!" and then the words, "now just let go!" And I did!!!
