The Shut Down Switch

Have you ever had a disagreement with a child?  They get frustrated because they can't change your mind and make you give them what they want. What is a common go to phrase?  "You hate me!" Why will a child say this, particularly to their parents?  I think it is because they know that it is untrue.  They know that parent loves them and that the accusation will hurt them.  It's one last attempt to manipulate the situation by challenging them, and it means, "I don't want to hear what you have to say."  It's an ultimatum, "agree with me or I won't believe that you love me."  It's a kill switch meant to to shut down the conversation as quickly as possible no matter what damage may occur.  Love protects, however, even when being threatened or resisted.   Love doesn't stand idly by and watch as someone heads for danger.  It doesn't refuse to get involved because someone might reject it.  It springs into action and strives to prevent injury.

Love can be hard work, and loving someone enough to correct, or even just disagree with them can hurt.  Let's look at  another example dealing with children.  Most people would not fault someone for telling a child not to play near a busy road, but if there is something near that road the child wants to play with or on, perhaps the mailbox that looks like a tractor, the child is probably going to protest.  They can't see beyond what they want to the danger it presents.  The child may have several reasons why they think playing near the road is acceptable, but that doesn't make it a good decision.  I have heard it said that hate is not the opposite of love, indifference is.  I don't know if I completely agree with that, but let's see how it plays out for a child in a dangerous situation. Hate and indifference may sometimes have the same result.

Seven year old Suzy is in the backyard and decides to build a village out of sticks.  It's a good creative way to play, the problem is that she chooses to do it on the railroad tracks.  The rails offer extra support for her structures, and she is delighted with her idea.  The next door neighbor sees what she is doing and thinks, "she's gonna get hurt, I can't stand that annoying brat anyway."  That would be hate.  The guy cutting the grass in the neighbors yard sees her and thinks, "that doesn't seem like a good idea, but it's not my problem."  That's indifference.  Her mother has been keeping an eye on her from the kitchen window, giving Suzy freedom to explore within the established boundaries.  Her mother looks up from the kitchen sink where she has been washing the dishes.  She doesn't think; she acts.  As soon as she realizes where Suzy has gone, she drops the plate in her hand and runs to the tracks to remove her daughter from the danger.  She explains the rules about her boundaries once again.  Suzy screams, "you hate me!" as the train comes and crushes her sticks, but she is safe.  Her mom and dad buy supplies that evening to come build a fence around their yard, and Suzy temporarily loses some freedom.  She may not play outside unless her mother can be out with her.  That is love.  

Love cares when a person is headed for destruction.  Love acts to rescue the one who's gone astray. The greatest love that has ever been expressed was when Jesus gave His life to save ours.  "But God demonstrates His own love for us in this, while we were still sinners Christ died for us."  Romans 5:8.  If we who know the good news, that anyone can be saved by believing in Christ, sit back and refuse to share it, then we are not showing love.  We can't say we love someone but it's not in our place to interfere. Love protects.  We can't let our fear of rejection stop us from sending out the lifeline.  When we point out the dangers of living without Jesus, some will say, "you hate me," but that doesn't make it true.  Act in love anyway.  Those words are meant to hurt because they challenge the love that is known to exist.  They are a tool that the devil will try to use to discourage you from speaking the truth of Jesus' love into someone's life.  "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."  Romans 12:21

*Scripture quotations taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica US, Inc.®. Used by permission.