Stair Steps In The Dark

Have you ever stood at the top of a stair case in the dark and wondered how you were going to get to the bottom without falling?  I have a staircase in my house that has three entry points.  From the top it comes straight down from a hallway on one side, and down from a landing in front of two bedrooms on the other side.  The two descending sets of stairs meet at a landing before descending the final stretch to the bottom.  The catch is that only two of theses points have a light switch.  At night, a descent from my bedroom on the hallway side is often navigated in the dark.  Ironically, I want to see the stairs so I can gracefully walk down them, but I can't turn the light on until I reach the bottom, then I can flip the switch and see each step clearly after I've come down them.

As I prepare to find my way down the stairs in the dark it is quite difficult to determine where the edge of the first vertical drop is.  I approach it slowly.  There is no guide rail on that top section.  I can put my hand on the wall for balance, but there is no indication where the decline begins.  I slide my foot forward and begin to tap with my toes feeling for the place where there is no more floor.  I inch a little farther and try again.  Eventually I will feel that the step is in front of me and I will ease my way down it, because I can't see how far the drop is.  When I get to the landing my hands become more useful because there is a half wall which acts as a railing, and sometimes there is a light on in the living room which dimly lights the way.  That first step at the top is the most difficult though; it is the hardest to find.  

I was explaining to a friend yesterday how I feel like I am standing at the top of a dark staircase in my life.  There is somewhere I want to go, but I am unsure of where the first step is.  I'm sliding my foot out and tapping.  I'm pondering my options, and I am praying for God to show me where it is and help me to step correctly.  Maybe I have actually been looking for the third or the fourth step in this process, while the first is closer and more gentle that I expected.  You see I have a project I want to do.  The Lord, my Father God, through the Holy Spirit has put several messages in my heart, messages that are consistent with His Word, and has enabled me to construct songs out of them.  While it is possible that these songs are just for me, I have a conviction that they were meant to be shared, not hidden.  I would like to do a recording project to allow these songs an avenue to circulate and impact lives in a positive way, bringing glory to The God who initiated them in my heart.  The problem is I have no idea where to actually start that process, but still I am taking a step now by asking you to begin, if  you know The Lord and if you will, to pray with me about what comes next.

There are a few places I am getting hung up.  The first dilemma is where to do the recording.  Should I search out a professional studio, should I ask my son, Cody, to do it at home with our private equipment, or is there another option I am overlooking?  The next question is should I do a very simple recording with my limited guitar skills and my voice only, or should I invite other musician friends to participate in a band format?  I know the music because it's a part of me, but everyone else would have to invest in learning it.  I have a certain simple style. With other musicians involved that would be developed into something more complex.  At the very least I would like for my son, Austin, to play piano on a couple of *public domain songs, which will add something familiar to the selection of new material.  In fact it would be nice to have each member of the family participate in some way.  The third issue is, of course, money.  Where is the funding for this project going to come from?  We shouldn't need anything we don't already have if we do it ourselves and keep it simple, but should I get help from people with experience?  In other words, should I trust God to supply the means, or trust that He already has?  I don't want to let pride stand in the way of doing God's will, because He will use the weak to show Himself strong.  He can work through my limitations to show how good and powerful He is.  I need to leave all this in God's hands, believing that He has a plan.  I have to have faith that He will show me the first step.  Just because I cannot see it doesn't mean it isn't there, but just because it is there doesn't mean I have come to it yet.  So, I keep tapping my toe in the dark waiting to feel the edge of the step in front of me.  I pray that when God shows me where it is I will have the courage and energy to move forward without fear or hesitation.   In the mean time I will keep practicing the music and asking Him for guidance.

*not subject to copyright.