He Never Walked Away

Picture a little girl with pigtails and ribbons, skipping along a wooded path with the One who hung the moon...

The sun was shining brightly, filtering through the trees which produced just enough shade for the perfect stroll.  Everything seemed right, but I went prancing ahead without watching my step.  A tree root rising from the forest floor surprised me and I fell quite hard.  I tried to get up, but I was hurt.  I asked Abba, my Father, to help me, but I couldn't get past the pain.  He took my hand, but I wouldn't move.  I was stuck.  He began to pull me up, but I focused on the pain and began to kick and scream.  The clouds had rolled in and I was getting cold.  My Father picked me up.  He began to carry me, but I hindered our progress with my protest.  "It hurts, it hurts," I cried, flailing my arms and arching my back.   He walked along with me in this manner, moving along ever so slowly, until I became so tired that I fell limp in his arms and my cries became a whimper.  He let me rest my head on his shoulder as He walked along carrying me with ease.  Gradually the pain from my injury decreased.  I was hesitant to stand on my own two feet again, but my Father knew that it was time.  He gently set me down holding tightly to my hand as we took the first few steps.  It still hurt a little as I began to bear my weight again, but we walked along slowly.  The further we went the less I felt the pain, though every once in a while I would step unevenly and it would flair back up for a time.  My Father continues to hold my hand, and I hold onto His.  I am content.  I am glad, though I still feel the injury from time to time.  It has taught me.  I like to skip and dance, but I must stay close by my Father.  I mustn't go ahead of Him without His hand to steady me lest I fall.  I will remember this as the air becomes infused with the scent of honeysuckle and wild rose; and as the sun shines brightly through the trees producing just enough shade for a perfect stroll. 

So You Want To Be A Biker Chick?

Last Thursday I stopped at church to talk with my pastor for a few minutes.  I was on my motorcycle, and there was the usual banter about being a biker chick going on with the staff members.   It was a beautiful day, and after I left Park Forest I rode over to my friend *Trudy's house.  She was outside when I got there so I jumped off the bike and we went in the house to catch up.  When I came back out the bike wouldn't even turn over.  I fiddled with the switch and the clutch and the kickstand, but nothing changed.  I put it in neutral and found it odd that the indicator light didn't come on, then it occurred to me that I had forgotten the key.  The headlight had been on the whole time we were talking, which was pretty long, and the battery was just plain dead.  Trudy doesn't drive, and her husband had the car at work.  She didn't have any equipment to help me, and I wouldn't have known what to do with it if she had.

I called the church first since my husband, Eric, was on a field trip with one of our kids, but there was no answer.  I thought about trying to use Trudy's steep driveway to start my bike, but I really didn't know how, and she strongly advised against it.  I decided to see what my friends Mike and Kandi were up to since they are sometimes home during the day and could probably help me.  Mike was leaving for an appointment, but he gave Kandi some instructions and she headed over with the jumper cables.  When we finally decided where the battery was and how to get to it, the screws on the cover were so tight we couldn't get them off.  After a while Kandi decided to call our friend Dave since he lives nearby and is also sometimes home during the day.  She told him she had "a friend" that needed some help and explained what was going on, but she kept my identity a secret.  

When Dave came up the driveway on his BMW he looked pretty amused.  He was a great help and got the screws out.  He got the bike running and then he realized the the driveway would have been great for pop starting it.  Well, he had the opportunity, because we turned the bike off to put it back together and it wouldn't start again.  After he got it running he said he would follow me for a while; I do go right past his house to get home.  About half way to Dave's house I started to worry that I had left my phone on Trudy's counter, and this was no time to be without it.  I pulled off to check my pocket.  I had my phone, but I let the clutch out stalling the bike which still had a dead battery.  Dave had to take his bike home and get his jumper cables and car; meanwhile I took the battery compartment apart again.  This time we had to put everything back together with the bike running, and put the one piece that required the key in my back pack.  I made quite certain that I did not stall my bike again.  

What a Day!!!  As embarrassed as I was though, I think it was really good for Trudy to see the body of Christ in action.  She seemed very impressed with the way people came to my rescue.  She is a believer, but does not associate much with the church.  She is often alone, and doesn't feel like she has a network of people to help her the way she witnessed that day.  It certainly lessens the sting of how careless I was that day, and what a mess I got myself into, knowing that it may have been an eye opening experience for her.  "By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."  John 13:35  Since then our friend Fred offered to loan us a trickle charger, and Nate actually gave us one to get my battery back in working condition and keep it that way over the winter.

I learned a few things:  1. The importance of turning off the key every time I shut off the bike.  2. The reality that I have some truly great friends, which I did already know. 3.  The specifics of  jump starting a Suzuki Savage.  4.  The mechanics of a push/pop start, which I intend to practice until I can successfully pull it off. 

Well, it's not something I ever want to repeat, but I don't think the experience will go to waste.  :)

I am so thankful for my friends!!!

*Trudy is a fictional name for a real person. 

What I Have Been Missing

I always find it amazing that when I am going through a trial I will suddenly start hearing the same message from multiple unrelated sources.  Recently I have been struggling with something I have been calling depression.  This has been going on all year.   The longer I struggle, the more people find out about it.  As I break down and share it with more people,   more prayers are offered on my behalf.   I do not doubt that this fact has had an impact on this message.  

In November and December a couple of situations really took a swing at my confidence level, or was it my pride, and I fell rather quickly into a state of what I will call defeat.  I lost my passion, motivation, and even much of my desire for ministry.  This has affected every area of my life.  The message that I am now seeing come to light is that of wholeheartedness.  

In the book *FISH! TALES I read yesterday that, "The antidote for exhaustion is wholeheartedness.  It is those things you do halfheartedly that really wear you out."  I realize that I have been approaching life halfheartedly for many months now, and I completely agree that wholeheartedness is energizing as I look back to the times when I was thriving.  Today in **MERE CHRISTIANITY I discovered C.S. Lewis expressing that "a kind of gaiety and wholeheartedness" is the "natural accompaniment of courage."  That is what I have been missing! 

I would not be so quick to embrace this idea were it not for the fact that I know it to be scriptural.  Colossians  3:23 says, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men."  I am also reminded that 1 Corinthians 10:31 says, "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."  How can I do something, anything, for the glory of God with half my heart?  

I have been holding back, but that has never worked out very well for me.  Lord, please free me from the prison of halfheartedness in Jesus name!  Amen.

*FISH! TALES Copyright 2002 ChartHouse Learning Stephen C. Lundin, Ph.D., John Christensen and Harry Paul.  

**MERE CHRISTIANITY  Copyright 1952, C.S. Lewis Pte. Ltd. Copyright renewed 1980,  C.S. Lewis Pte. Ltd.

Shiver

 

I had just turned off the shower one day, and was getting ready for my day when the first verse of this song just came into my head and out of my mouth.  It probably took 15 minutes or so to get three verses and chorus together.  After I had it written down I asked Cody to drop what he was doing and help me get a rough recording so I wouldn't forget the melody.  I never did come up with chords for it.  It started out acapella, and when we recorded it again I simply formed one chord and tapped the pick guard on my guitar to create the droning sound in the background.  I would like to add harmonies to the chorus, but other than that I intend to keep this one simple.  I did change the wording at the end of the third verse after I had listened to the first draft several times, but other than that it is just the thoughts that were given to me in that short period of time on Saturday morning, January 21, 2012.

Your Love Is Unconditional

I am so inadequate and unworthy, and I mess up so often, but God's love is not based on what I am or what I do, it is based on His own loving character.  He provided for my deepest need when He sent His own Son to the cross to pay for my sin.  I don't deserve His love, but I receive it because of His grace and mercy.  The scripture used in this song is Psalm 103:11-14... 

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
   so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
   so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

  As a father has compassion on his children,
   so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
 for he knows how we are formed,
   he remembers that we are dust. 

When I fall down He shows compassion and picks me up time and time again.  I praise God for His complete provision and abundant love!  I thank Him for this song to help me remember. 

Castles In The Sand

This song came out of a time when I was feeling discouraged, and began to realize that it was because I had been misplacing my hope.  My priorities had gotten mixed up, and I was disappointed because I was dreaming of temporary things instead of eternal ones.  It is based on Matthew 7:24-27   “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”  God used this song to help me refocus; to remember that it is ok to dream, but I need to be dreaming God's dreams, because they are the ones that matter.

Waiting For The Rain

This is the first song I ever "wrote" that has stayed with me. I use the word "wrote" loosely because I don't feel like I write songs at all, but that God gives them to me as an answer to my prayers.  At the time that this song came about I was struggling with disappointment or discouragement of some kind.  I confess that three years later I don't remember the exact circumstances or situation, but I remember the song that came out of them.  I've had a dream of music since I was a little girl.  The dream dimmed as I got married and began having children.  I thought my dream had changed, but soon it was burning bright again as the kids were growing and I continued serving with the worship team.  I was learning, through volunteering and taking classes with Child Evangelism Fellowship, how to share my faith and lead people to Christ.  I wanted to be able to take the message of God's love and salvation to more people through music, and I seemed to be growing in ministry, but then something happened that caused me to doubt.  As I said, I don't remember the details of what it was, but the Lord encouraged me through this song.  This is my reminder that God made me to think the way I think, and dream the way I dream, and that if he gave me a dream, then I need to trust in Him to bring it to fruition in His time and for His glory.  I was inspired by a story I heard, which is in this movie clip from Facing The Giants, about a farmer that prepared his fields while he prayed and waited.  He was contrasted with a farmer who prayed but did nothing.  The question was raised as to which farmer had faith.  It encouraged me to continue doing what I could do while I wait for God to do what only He can do.  I decided to practice playing the guitar, and continue singing, and wait to see what God will do.  He gave me this song which motivated me to keep working and dreaming.  I don't know what His plan is, but I have to keep believing in it while I continue to prepare.